There is a myth floating around that it's pretty sad if you can't tell your loved ones everything. This really isn't true. Even if family and friends say you can tell them anything, the reality is that you cannot.
Sometimes you may find yourself battling with a decision, perhaps to change your job or position. If you mention this to a close family member they may have their own reasons on why you shouldn't do such a thing. They can only tell you their fears such as not being able to afford it, or they spent thousands of dollars getting you educated and can't accept you 'throwing it away'. They will squash your thoughts with a million reasons as to why you can't, when really, there could be plenty of better alternatives. So rather than rocking the boat, you stay miserable in a hated position.
You may have feelings of anger or hate towards the actions of someone close but you know if you say anything they will take it the wrong way, and think you hate them.
Perhaps your partner is a bully or a narcissist, and is mentally and emotionally abusing you. Those closest to you can only see what a nice guy he is and don't believe you. They cause you to doubt yourself and stay within the relationship, wondering what is wrong with you.
Maybe you are on the edge of depression and are feeling slightly suicidal. Sharing this with a loved one can cause them to either panic and worry. Or they tell you not to be silly, there is nothing to be sad about.
Our family and friends aren't trained to know how to listen. They are judgemental and biased in their outcomes. They disregard your thoughts as 'silly'. They can become unnecessarily worried.
Sometimes all you need is to talk it out, to verbalise your thoughts, and thats all it takes to move on and feel better. Other times you need solutions and alternatives that aren't clouded by judgement or bias.
This is where talking to a counsellor could be better than talking to those around you.
Counsellors are trained to listen, to be non-judgemental, to offer clarity. They are unbiased and are not affected by the choices you make. They can refer you to appropriate places for additional help, and can help you devise plans or set goals. They make excellent sounding boards for you to clarify your thoughts and feelings.
So Who You Gonna Call??
Counsellors!
For more information contact Louise Atkinson at www.whispersands.com.au
